


Cold

by BoredXyro



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Post-Thor: The Dark World, Depression, F/M, Heavy Angst, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, Soulmates, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:27:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25592764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoredXyro/pseuds/BoredXyro
Summary: Loki meet his soulmate and it goes wrong, really wrong.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	Cold

**Author's Note:**

> **TW // This work contain alcohol, depression (I don't really if it can be categorized as it but to be safe i reference it), suicide and angst **  
> **  
> **  
> This is inspired by the lyrics of Inception by ATEEZ (it's not that close but I wanted to mention it cause it's what inspired me to write this short story)

The moment he met Stark’s eyes it was as if everything fell in place. His soul felt complete, less alone and he could nearly see the threads that tied him to the smaller man that was facing him. Loki’s eyes widened slightly as warmth surrounded him.

But it seemed as the universe was playing a joke on him. Tony didn’t showed any sign of recognition, worse his eyes were full of hatred and suddenly he felt as if a bucket of ice was emptied on him. He could understand why Tony had reacted this way, after all he had tried to invade his planet, even though it wasn’t on his own free-will, but Stark didn’t knew that. Loki felt his heart beating harder in his chest when he looked right straight into the brown eyes of Tony Stark. He felt desperate when he could only observe himself trying to attack the man that now owned his heart and soul.

When he was captured and sent back to Asgard he carefully took note of every features of Stark, gods knew when he would be able to see him again.

He was now alone in his cell, completely alone and empty, his soul craved to see him again, even if it was only a second, he felt as if he was ripped apart. The fact that Stark didn’t care about him hurt even more.

Every night his brain tricked him into showing him the happy moment he could have with the Midgardian male, the kisses, the trips, domestics moments… And every morning he would wake up, alone in his cell and even more colder than the previous night.

He maintained the illusion of a cold façade but in reality, he was completely broken. The day they announced the death of his mother everything falls apart once again. The only person who truly loved him was now dead and he had no way to bring her back.

His brother came to help him escaped and he knew what he would do once everything was finished. The strings tying him to Stark were tugging harshly into the direction of Midgard. So, after the whole mess with the Dark Elves Loki went straight for Midgard and decided he would stay not really close but not too far from the Avengers tower so he would be able to catch even a glimpse of Tony without being recognize.

The first night in his apartment he felt less cold and lonely and broken than he was for the past years. He still had these dreams about a better life with Stark, but as he woke up every time, he tried to tell himself that it was better than nothing, that he wouldn’t feel the cold anymore, or a lot less.

Sadly, it didn’t do much, and quickly rumours of Tony Stark dating Pepper Potts were spreading as a wildfire. Obviously Loki had heard about it, and for the fourth time of his life he felt broken, unloved and desperate. He stopped sleeping, well as much as he could. He spent a lot of times in bars, even though alcohol didn’t do much to him, it was at least a bit comforting to be somewhere else than in his small apartment dreaming about whatever life he could have had with Stark if he wasn’t evil and if his whole life wasn’t messed up. Also even though alcohol didn’t work a lot it had some taste that helped Loki to feel something else than the emptiness of his soul.

He sometimes wondered what Frigga would have thought if she saw him in this state, but he didn’t care. He felt even colder than ever when their engagement was announced. He spent the day crying and drinking.

He wondered what he did to deserve such a cruel life.

He started to write letters for everyone he knew. He refused to live an eternity feeling empty and cold, and having dreams of a better life. He had tried to move on and to feel really happy for Potts and Stark, he had tried to date any mortal, having one-night stands and all but no. His soul refused that he moved on, and from the bottom of him he craved for Tony Stark, but he knew he wouldn’t have him ever.

So, he took the best decision he ever made for himself, he would disappear from this universe.

Once all the letters were ready (though there wasn’t a lot) he went to lie in his bed, he put the letters on the nightstand next to him. He was bound to be discovered sooner or later so he didn’t bother bring them to the people it was addressed too.

He took the bottle of vodka and the pills and swallowed the latter and then drank the alcohol. He lied in his bed, closed his eyes and felt warmth for the first time in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> Heya! It's my 1st time writing an angsty fic, I hope you enjoyed it! Don't hesitate to leave kudos and to comment! I hope you enjoyed reading it :)  
> Take care!


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